I have been studying forgiveness exercises from various individuals and faiths. One that stands out the most with the popularity on how to perform a successful forgiveness exercise is from Hawaii. It’s called Ho’oponopono, and it is the Hawaiian practice for reconciliation and forgiveness. It is a 4-Step Process.
As business owners, we encounter stressful situations, possibly angry or upset customers or clients, and may face challenges with suppliers or vendors. It’s important to remember that to heal ourselves and our business and grow into a better person or place to support our community with our gifts, we need to release all that holds us back. And this is where forgiveness comes into play.
If we hold a grudge in our business, we will surely lose customers, clients, workers, or accounts. Have you noticed when you hold a grudge you become slightly obsessed with the act of being angry all the time? Your time is consumed with gossiping with others about the “wrong” that was done to you, and you can’t let it go. Each new person gets a quick version of what happened. And while it’s nice to vent to good friends, gossiping and oversharing your awful experience with customers, clients, suppliers, employees, etc. can cause many people to no longer want to work with you. Plus, it can lead to poor health.
So, what can you do? Forgive. It’s not always fun. You were humiliated, took advantage of, or lost money. I get it. Been there, done that. Over the years my husband and I were taken advantage of by business partners. We’ve lost thousands of dollars in equipment and money. We’ve been humiliated by these so-called friends. But we didn’t let these experiences make us feel like owning a business was a bad idea. We still reach out to others. We still network. We still move forward in the promise of a better tomorrow.
Here are the 4-Steps to Forgiveness
Before you begin, decide if you want to write down your grievances or simply say them aloud. If you chose to write them down, write them all down before you begin, so you can move quickly through each grievance. You may want to burn the paper when you’re done with this exercise.
1) Say “I’m Sorry.”
Expressing your remorse and accepting responsibility helps you consciously understand the lesson you should have learned from the experience. You also show that you are serious in releasing that which no longer is serving your highest good.
2) Say “I forgive me. I forgive you.”
Most people are taught to forgive the person that wronged them. And you can. Saying “I forgive you” shows that you are ready to let go of that pain that was caused. Saying, “I forgive me”, lets the universe know that you accept the experience and are ready to start anew.
3) Say, “Thank you”.
Expressing your gratitude will show that you have accepted the experience and are grateful for the lesson you learned.
4) Say, “I love you”.
Expressing your love, for yourself, or the person that wronged you can help you truly release all that pain. Love can help you begin to heal.
Therefore, I hope you can find it in your heart to learn to forgive those that have caused you pain in your business (and your personal life!), so you can move forward with the best intentions and create ultimate success within your business!